On Friday, I walked in the ocean. It was cold and wild and powerful. As the waves crashed at my feet and retracted, I imagined the water taking all of my worries and stresses away. It was symbolic and it felt great.

As a little girl growing up in Trinidad, I often visited a beach house in the quiet, coastal town of Balandra. My best friend’s family had a beach house there and they invited us to come along often, to celebrate various occasions. I adored those trips. There was nothing I loved more than falling asleep to the sound of the waves and the kiss of salty ocean air on my face. On mornings, I would wake up early and sit at the top of the hill between some trees, looking down at the water caressing the beach below. This time spent with myself was the ultimate relaxation. It was a time that I thought about life, past, present and future. In those precious moments, I always felt clarity and healing.

On Friday I had an especially hectic morning. But after an inspiring meeting with a new friend, I sat in my car and thought about what I could do to heal my inner self and find more peace in my life. Immediately, those moments in Balandra came to mind and I knew what I wanted to do. An impromptu trip to Trinidad and Balandra was not in the cards, but luckily I call Florida home.

I drove to the nearest beach, took off my shoes and went for a walk. I let the wind whip through my hair and refresh my face. I breathed in the salty air and just walked in the water. Pushing any negative thoughts aside, I engaged in a walking meditation. I took deep breaths in and out as I walked, just soaking in the beauty of nature and allowing my body and mind to connect with it and feel peace.

This crazy, little, out of the box stunt of mine felt like a rebirth. I felt so alive in those moments. Now, I’m not suggesting that you go frolic in the nearest ocean you can find. But think about your life and your childhood. Identify something that brought you happiness and peace and seek to replicate it. Somehow it helped me to feel like myself again, to feel hope and positive vibes in my life, after a few tough weeks.

You see this whole mommy wellness journey has been so much more than just an exercise regime and healthier eating habits. At the core of it all is my desire to find myself again. To come back to life physically, mentally and emotionally. I lost myself in my intense love for my kids. I cared for them and neglected me. Through force, I have now come to realize how important it is to take care of me. I want to live to see them grow into adulthood. I want them to see how important it is to live well, love themselves and enjoy life.

By loving myself and caring for my own emotional needs, I can be the patient, loving and fun mom that I want to be.

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